Anonymous :  Hi there, I was curious. Are you single?

I am not actually. I’ve been in a relationship for three months, to the day!

I just ran out of mixers. So I ordered pizza and pasta from Domino’s so I could get a 2-liter of Coke. I. Am. A. Genius.

I need to go get Popsicles at Safeway for my costume.
So I can rub them on boys’ bodies and then put them in my mouth.
“Sounds like a great way to find a husband.”

Let’s hope so. Wish me luck.

It’s always so refreshing to have to run eight blocks to the bus stop at 11 in the morning after a night of gratuitous drinking. Mmmm.

kiddoskrunch :  Boy, what's your intagram?

On the off chance that anyone else would like to know my Instagram, it just so happens to be DraytonStr8. Also, this is the first ask I’ve gotten in like… 84 years.image

Can we just…

My life is on a downward spiral to oblivion.

I feel like such a hick walking around the Ave with a cowboy hat…

Drinking whiskey on the rocks in the shower. The epitome of classy.

PSH! SO MUCH FOR GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY… I’ll stow this away until next time.

So there’s this guy who comes into my work multiple times a week with his friend and makes lots of weird eye contact with me. I can’t tell if he’s trying to flirt with me, or if he just really likes udon…image

You know you’re livin’ the life when the highlight of your day is getting new underwear in the mail.

If you just finished watching Doctor Who a few minutes ago, you can come to the front and pick up your ticket to my bed.

So I arrived home for Christmas break after six months in Seattle, and surprised my friends at 1 a.m. It was pretty great.